“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”. – Ephesians 5:22-24
This passage is usually hard for us to embrace. But, before we let our hearts begin to struggle with the topic of submission we need to STOP our hearts and minds from bickering and remind ourselves that submission is a good thing.
It is a good thing for us, why?
Well one, because God is the one who commands us to submit to our husbands. But two, because by being obedient and faithful in our submission even when it’s hard or when it does not make sense we are under God’s Sovereign, Holy and Graceful coverage.
Before I got married, my mom explained to me that when I obeyed my parents even if it didn’t make sense I would stay under God’s umbrella of protection – this didn’t mean that nothing bad would ever happen to me, but that if it did or my parents made mistakes in their parenting I would still be backed up in my actions by God because I was being obedient and faithful. Now, as a young wife the same concept applies to following my husband. He is not always going to be right, he is not always going to guide me or our family in the best way, he will make mistakes and many times following him will not be easy and my heart will struggle to follow him. But this I know, that even if he is leadership is not perfect, God will back me up for being faithful and obedient. At the end of the day, when I stand in the presence of my Savior, I will not be asked (I think) to give account of how I lead my family, my husband will give account for that. When I stand in the presence of my Savior I will give account of how I followed God by following my husband, how I lived my life rooted in Him and if I was a witness of the love of Christ to my family and the world.
So, in this my heart rests: that God is the head of my husband, as my husband is my head. My trust if fully set on Christ!But, I am not saying this in naive type of way. Honestly, submission is difficult for me as well. In our four years of marriage, my husband has not always made the right decisions and at times as made mistakes in his leadership. But even through the trials and the tears, God was faithful. Even when following him was hard, I did. Not because I am wonder women or have it all under control, but because I knew that I was better off being obedient to Christ even when it did not make sense than to be disobedient. But here is that hope sisters, even when it was hard and difficult, it was worth it! God did not leave us alone, God did not stop guiding us and comforting us. HE WAS FAITHFUL! He worked in my life, in the life of my husband and carried us through! So, let me encourage you that even if you are in a difficult season and following your husband seems hard.. trust that our Lord and Savior will carry you both through, pray for your husband and love him, and if necessary seek counsel from the pastors at your local church. We were so blessed, our marriage healed and our hearts comforted by the love of the pastors that walked this seasons by our side.
I hope this encourages all of our hearts and reminds us that at the end of the day our submission to our husbands is a reflection of our submission, trust and dependence on the ONLY ONE THAT CAN SUPPLY ALL OF OUR NEEDS, our Lord Jesus Christ.
I love what Lisa Chan (You and Me Forever) says about submission:
“When we submit, we are respectfully submitting to a God-given position, and not perfection. In other words, our husbands are going to make mistakes. They will not always “deserve” to be the leader in our eyes, but God will always deserve our obedience to Him in this way. And since the command to submit comes from God, our submission is ultimately to Him.”
I pray that as we meditate in this passage today, we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in obedience of Him, trust in His purposes and a willingness to follow wherever He leads us through our husbands. I pray that through our submission we are lead to love our husbands more and that our love leads us to pray and intercede for them- so them like us can be man rooted in the Word, equipped for every good work and faithful to lead their wives and families. Not for our comfort but for the glory of Him who seats above all, Jesus Christ!
PS: I think it’s important for me to add that I love my husband with all my heart. He is a humble, joyful and wise leader of our home. Through the rough seasons I have learned to trust his judgment, confide in him and follow him wholeheartedly. I can honestly can say that this man has laid his life down for me and seeks to love me, guide me and serve me like Christ loves his church. He is a man devoted to learning God’s will for his life and focused on guiding and challenging me to devote my life for Christ and His mission- at the end this is the most important investment of our lives. This is a man worthy of all my respect and I will follow him until the day we stand in the presence of our Savior.